Monday, 28 October 2013

Silence of the victim.....

When rape escape shames survivors....

A piece ran in the Daily Mail today about a woman who fought off a would be rapist. Good for her I thought, glad she was able to. But the taste soured in my mouth when I read that she encourages all women to fight back against their attackers.

How does a 3 year old girl fight off a 6'1 man she calls Daddy?
How does an 8 year old girl fight off the men she has been sold too?
How does a 15 year old girl fight off a man with a knife to her throat?
How does a 26 year old woman fight off a man who threatens to kill everyone she holds dear?
How does any woman who freezes fight off their attacker?

"If you didn't fight back, it's not your fault" - my therapist must say that to me at least once a session. "

Some other important things to note:
"It's still rape if you didn't fight back".
"It's still rape if your body responds to what happens"
"It's still rape if you said no and he carried on"
"It's still rape if you couldn't say anything"

Victim blaming is rife in society at the moment. The media takes a sensationalist view of historical abuse, publishing pictures and videos of the "celebrity" abusers with no thought for how that affects survivors. It takes a morbid delight in shouting about "false rape" claims. All sorts of deluded figures who try to define rape. And all that does is silence us all over again.

Help us speak out, help us find our voices. I applaud you for getting away. I detest you for trapping others in the silent prison.

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